In A Swimming Pool

Saturday was meant to be boring.

Then a Mansion appeared.

View of the lake, and the buzzing of sea creatures. The lights of the city drown out the loneliness.

We talk about UFOs and an apple falls.

Bare feet, we play like we did as children.

The coarseness of the road, the calluses remind you of life.

Backyard, or a Grecian garden.

In the cover of Cedars we play with Arrows.

You always miss the point.

“I want to feel the sharpness of the wet grass, I’m on Earth after all.”

The blueness of the swimming pool.

Heated foam rises up as I see images of a black hole.

My box contains Tarot cards and Lady Pink Kush.

She fills my belly up with dreams and warm feelings.

The end of a beer bottle, stuffed with cigarette butts and dreams of ash.

I see bodies of my friends floating.

I’m here for you always but you needed something that I couldn’t provide– A conversation. The right words, in the right order and at the right time.

But how can I help you? I’m an island.

Like you I’m lost. Swimming in absurdity.

The sun judges me for observing my friends like objects in a Petri dish of literary experiments. It marks me as a war-criminal like I am.

I’m like this empty beer bottle stuffed with cigarette butts and dreams of ash.

And I can only provide you with more nihilism.

So let’s float here in salt-water laced with chlorine.

And not do anything today.

“The High Priestess” – (Poetry/ Artwork for Sale)

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I’m surrounded by mystical faces

“Great Simurgh protect me in your wings!”

Shaped like eyes

Pupils dilate like solar flares.

Your tachyons are showing.

I masturbate to activate the sigil

Cum to the sound of a Hummingbird heartbeat

Vision of Cicadas

Revisit in that chamber

You tell your greatest lies in small truths

And your skin feels familiar

Stale smoke and ancient car smell.

High priestess, I came to you that night when I wanted to summon Mercury.

And your lips tasted like strawberry, and I know about your charred lungs.

And we remain sweet like secrets to each other.

July 4, 2019July 4, 2019 by A.R. Minhas

Nude Mangoes And Lost Things (Poetry & Artwork Available for Sale)

You Needed Me!

A cake of Molten Love
‘Let’s Eat this in Secret’

Neon Lights

And a sublime Blowjob

To the chirping of Morning Birds.

You know me too well

Oh! Stickiness of Mangoes

Their Nudity tip toeing to the past

Trapped between your fingers

And remember how the laugh track started playing?

Reality erased by Mother
She crosses out my words because they weren’t pretty

And the fire starts above your low cut dress,
The Electric blue of
Thighs

Shape this Obsession

“You are as empty as a perfume commercial!”

Collecting scents

and follow me into the Crystal towers.

Life reflected in high places

Throw them away

These memories have mold in them.

July 4, 2019July 4, 2019 by A.R. Minhas

‘Fire Above, Water Below’ – My Brush With Death. (Art available for purchase)

On June 11th, while I was sleeping, I heard a roar.

“Get out! FIRE!”

I awoke dazed and confused, struggling to grasp whether I was dreaming or if this was reality.

My hands automatically went for my glasses, but somehow they didn’t go for my wallet or phone. I escaped the house; my mother carried out by a kind stranger who had bellowed the earlier command, and my father closely following him.

We struggled to get to a safe distance as we saw a truck inflamed. The duct-cleaning truck had caught fire, and that had traveled to our neighbors. Our house is semi-detached, and with the right push from the wind, the flames spread across our roof. And I watched with horror as our house was disintegrating.

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‘Fire Above, Water Below’ (c) A.R. Minhas 2019

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Then the fire crew came, and they doused the flames with torrents of water. At this point the roof had holes, and our entire house was soaking in water and smoke. It took them an hour-or-so to put it out, as we watched the place I had so many memories collapsing in front of my very eyes.

My mother, who is dealing with a form of Vertigo, felt everything spinning and couldn’t even sit straight. We had to take her to our neighbor’s house so she can lie and wait for the paramedics. After she was settled, I returned outside.

I kept looking at our house, unable to look away from the fire.

Later on, when they allowed us in the house, I went into my room, to see the extent of the damage. My room was relatively intact, but everything was soaked, and I could smell the smoke. I was also able to recover my phone and wallet (Thank Odin!)

Also my Tarot cards and ‘The Portable Nietzsche”. (If you don’t already know he’s the one who wrote: “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”) It was at that moment the line hit me. “Fire Above, Water Below”, like the ancient saying that described the power of tarot cards. “As Above, So below.”

The original painting that creeped me out as a kid.

Once out of there, I was also able to get my laptop and phone. I was able to recover the painting I was working on in my phone. It was an image of an Indian farmer and his wife.

This picture hung in our old house and always bothered me. I don’t know who made it so if there’s anyone familiar with it, please let me know as I want to give the artist credit as well.

I was working on it before, and after the incident, I made it reflect the words I had heard in my head. I updated it and now before you is my work. It’s littered with me, my memories, my dreams, and my fears.

The process of making this has been therapeutic, as it has reduced my stress level and allowed me to channel it constructively.

I want to use this experience not only to get stronger but also more carefree and express myself as freely as possible. Remember, we don’t have time — we can either burn from the ‘Fire Above’ or drown from the ‘Water Below.’

June 21, 2019June 21, 2019 by A.R. Minhas

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May 16, 2019June 1, 2019 by A.R. Minhas

The Magician

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By: A.R. Minhas

She places the tools on the table

Unsheathe the rose petals

It’s time to use them

Droplets of wine that spill from the cup

Your thought pierces me

The Divine spirit soaring like a drone

The mystical explosion will destroy you in the vicinity

A guide that taps her cigarette

Three times and howl is heard

A burn mark shaped like a pentagram

The hands that show the path

As it was above

So it will be

If you find love, kiss me hard

With the tongue involved

A spiritual virus

Recreate me

Eternally

Your red robes have been thrown in the forest

Be sure your nudity is seen by everyone

And the sigil is magnified

Voice

Calls

From

Below

The chaos

Is interested in you.

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August 29, 2018August 29, 2018 by A.R. Minhas

The Fool

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BY: A.R. Minhas

If you hold onto this

Drown in the water

Look up! Look up!

There’s hope that if you hold onto the flower

The wind that carries its weight

And floats up

Swirls around a bit

I can’t get that green cicada noise out of my head

And I plan to end another father figure’s life

“I’m beyond frustrated.”

You don’t lead me anywhere,

I just travel in circles, and all you do is make noises

Plates clutter, your middle-age flatulence

Feet thudding with panic

And I fear that

I might end up like you

Bald, bloated, stubborn and alone

But for now

I feel the wind in my hair

There are no signs of appendicitis

I feel like I’m guiding myself

Even this cigarette has given me a new meaning of life

And if I can just walk around

I’ll eventually stumble on that mystical guide

Here’s hoping it was me all along.

August 26, 2018 by A.R. Minhas

Blackholes

I’m sailing a ship in space,

Because I want to be left alone.

Everyone told me I will drown in the moon.

And I’m ok with that.

As long as I can have my smoke on that secret porch,

As long as I can feel the sweet comfort of a dark chocolate cake that was left over,

I sometimes imagine your blood is its icing.

I’m colonizing the stars,

Repopulating them with your memories.

At the bottom of the ocean

Pressure conforms—cracking skulls

The sound of opening a can of coke

“Come share with me,”

I’m spilling purple flowers everywhere

Can you imagine a gesture of love drifting alone in space?

So peaceful.

At the bottom of the ocean.

Living in Atlantis.

Imaginary like heaven,

All the pain disappears.

Like a memory of that light that was there once,

Like a memory of oxygen…

Everything fades to zero-calories of nothingness.

My lungs grow heavy with sulfates

Why don’t you just die here?

“This is a good spot,”

The black hole is right above my head.

May 5, 2018 by A.R. Minhas

Year of Regret

Raw silk, pure power

I feel the anger of drunk drivers passing by

She undresses in that winter moon

I lay naked next to you, and I feel you in heat

“Taste it, spit the seeds”

I’m a meat eater, but I’ll promise to drink more cranberry juice

And I promise

I won’t fall in love again

You saw what happened last time?

Coughed up a lung in love

Footed the bill

And my thoughts have become more bureaucratic

I know exactly what forms to fill out

Replacement heart on the way

Plus shipping and handling

I promise I don’t need anyone

You can ask my dreams

You can ask my bank account

And my investments are doing well too

Painting pictures of zero balances on my credit card

Could you imagine?

If you never made mistakes

Protein shake diets

I’m taking care of myself

And I don’t need anyone

Even if your touch leads to those special endorphins

It’s ok

There’s a new year coming up

And I’m sorry for repeating

But there won’t be any regrets anymore.

December 31, 2017 by A.R. Minhas

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 6

This is an excerpt from the novel “Confessions of an Abortion Addict.” The novel is still in progress, and I’m continuing this process with Nanowrimo. I’m currently at 10,000 words, 40,000 to go! This passage might not be sequential and will be subject to additional editing. Thank you!

Two travelers in a civic ride past the countryside. The sun sets low in that perfect glow of nostalgia; a time no one remembers but becomes familiar as winter approaches. In plains of beautiful sight, the trees have accepted that their leaves must fall. Snow accumulates on the ground, frostbitten grass fingers unable to touch. I’m looking out at the window and greeted with overhanging wires, deer warning signs, orange pylons, and windmills. I think about what would happen if humans just disappeared from the face of the earth. Will these things still be there, and if they are, what would they matter?

“You’ve never had fast food before?”

“Never, my mother never allowed it, and I just found it reprehensible.”

“Those golden arches don’t do anything for you?”

“Nope.”

“You really are something aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry I’m so different from what you’re used to,” I said, sounding a lot bitchier than it was intended. I was in a foul mood, and it was spilling everywhere.

“No, no—it’s just no matter whoever you are…you always try fast food, you know? Just because it’s always there and sometimes you’re so broke that’s the only thing you can afford, right?”

“You think I’m broke?”

“No, I meant that generally. But you know everyone is broke at some point, and you don’t come off as a spoiled brat.”

“You don’t have to be rich to be spoilt.”

“Hey, sorry did I say something that is making you say all this? Because you sounded really nice on the phone and you’re the one who said that you’d like to come to the cabin after I said I was going.”

“Listen, I’m sorry…it’s I needed to get out of the city for a little bit.”

“And I was your only option? Fantastic.”

“Thank you for understanding,” I said, unable to apologize or empathize with his situation. I turn to the side of my bag and fumbling for my Dunhills. There are debris of my past lives that are in this bag, and I seem to brush against them every time I slip into its content.

The darkness of that leather purse. The womb. An aspiration that will be squirted into a yellow suckling sounds. Blue-tinged aftermaths, tissue paper, crumpled, cold to antiseptic touch, and swabbed with cotton of human shades. A hollow tube that inserts itself into a pink void. It’s searching for meaning and also destroying it. Ftt! Ftt! fits of crying. Centre of embryonic waves crashing into me, and the waves receding taking parts of me with them. And my fingers like looped knives removing the remaining cigarettes.

Windows slightly opened and my fingers nervous to the frigidity of the atmosphere outside. Nightmares following me on journeys of escaping who I am.

Previous Excerpts:

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 5

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 4

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 3

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 2

Novel: Confessions of an Abortion Addict – Excerpt – Part 1

Confessions of an Abortion Addict