“Self-Image Before Birth” – Artwork for Sale

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Goddess Sativa

She told me, and I didn’t believe her

“Use teeth next time”

Just to hurt more.

A heart doesn’t want to be sober

Like a trail of swollen lights

Blaspheming moths

Incinerated

Masturbating to their own destruction.

You hear the ventilation buzzing

A stutter of cicadas

Stroking to their vibrations

And I cum a purple substance

Goddess Sativa floating in my throat.

The stickiness of thought,

And a centipede spirals into my ear.

It whispers–

“I have stories about the crawl space in your mind that you don’t want to talk about.”

And then I laugh.

I laugh because it doesn’t mean anything.

And I should’ve believed her.

I don’t want to be sober.

I only want to worship you.

(c) A.R. Minhas 2019

Weird Eyes

If you had loved me hard enough

“Don’t say those words like an afterthought.”

I burn that flower at night time

The urgency of this message

I’m in love with being myself

Vaseline love,

Apply lotion to a dry heart.

See it through.

Evidence of bubblegum

Cardamom,

Say the word I’m there.

Wax spilt on black marble.

“You came with thundering applause.”

And I burst into you…

Tears

Wide Eyed, weird eyes

Drown

A gaggle of loud noises

Beautifying the porch

Cigarette bodies hidden

Beneath

Neon smoke

Up Above

My nose throbs for your loins

Teeth willing to pierce through

Skin

And then flesh

Blood caramel

Dripping from your lips.

I lay my head down

A disembodied voice

“Nostalgia keeps me alive.”

(c) A.R. Minhas 2019

Futile

Can you understand me?

‘Milk spilt in the hall.’

Dionysus cried himself to sleep.

Roses burning with a magnifying glass.

Melted sugar.

Come to the blue party.

Serotonin for you, and the light fades.

Blind
‘The head line dips to Luna.’

My delusions are mine to keep.

Share the kiss, never fall in Love.
Some people are blessed to be alone.

(c) A.R. Minhas 2019

Woman In Clouds

She pours the nicotine
on the head

A bed of spirals

Naked feet

strawberries between your toes.

Jam!
My heart bursts with love

It you could only smoke that tail-pipe.

Exhale a statue of smoke
her breasts are large Filled with unrepentant milk

Her thighs
shut my face between a mask of bronze.

A clay to make her quiver she recovers from the candle-light.

Bottle fly waits for me to
lie down again

The open field
I hear the
sewer grow

The sound of filth accumulating

Verdigris!
The name of my love

She swirls in copper rounds
sounds of carousel

My chest opens like teeth
red trickles on my mouth

“This sugar left
a scar!”

And you stand naked and tall

Star-light trying to reunite with you.

A. R. Minhas (c) 2019

Fraud

I don’t deserve it.

“You look like you need it.”

          A cherry flavoured kiss.

I still taste you on my beard.

A door knocks.

         An ancient bird that taps.

Shadows close in on me.

          The mouse-trap with red velvet cake.

You don’t deserve anything.

          It snaps. It recoils.

This is how a dream breaks,

And I’m relieved.

You were never real.

          It was all given to you,

          And now you return to take me back.

I laugh at your audacity

“Papers, please.”

I was never here in the first place.

There is a beauty in surrendering.

© A.R. Minhas

I’ll Eat You In My Dreams

There is a jar filled with Honey

Buried in your dreams

And I pour it

            They create steps

                        A temple of your heart

Steep conversations            

                        Cicadas with Kamikaze fervor

 Heart thumping like pure jet-streams

            Azure is the shape of my skin

                        You sit next to me

            Can you hear them?

Ovulations of perfume

            A fermented kiss in a plastic bottle

Who knew that chemical reactions can create longings?

                        Vegetation of Serotonin

            And I’m floating from you just being next to me

“Share a Diet-Coke?” you ask with carbonated eyes.

I would share a Chocolate grasshopper with you

            High on protein

                         Saliva dripping rainbows and you share a secret with me

There are no Mango-Trees close by

Let’s do magic by that Orange shape

            Peeling it with toes

                        Those natural, citrusy fingertips

Delicate

To a stroking fur touch

                                    And I promised you an apple pie

If you stay close enough

I’ll give you a view

                From my chest

                                    Like open palms

                                    Dipping to Luna

                        A fountain foaming with desire

Smoking Blue Dream

            Within a withering forest

                        In my dreams

                        Just stay close.

And I’ll eat you underneath a Mango-Tree.

© A.R. Minhas 2019

The Darkness That Holds Me Together.

I’m unable to avoid the sharp corners of my mind.

Brain filled with endorphins.

“I’m reliving my childhood.”

Mango trees,

Plucked from the earth

Sweetness of lips

Honey drips down your thighs

Patterns on your nail polish swirl and I know I exist.

Your heart exhales

And I feel my stomach knot like strings

There is a weight to all of this

“Black charcoal to moisturize a face”

Our past is entangled

Tachyons enjoyed with green tea

And a past remembered with too much sugar.

If you could hold my darkness

You will be the center of everything.

(c) A.R. Minhas

I Hear Things And I Feel Nothing.

“I have shared secrets with you…”

“Oh Dead Mother!”

“Come have your pills. Depression doesn’t look good on you.”

“It’s just a coincidence that you wore red today.”

“I’m masturbating in public!”

“…And let’s abort this thing.”

“And why do you care that our generation is the worst?”

“You didn’t taste that way before…”

“And I’m learning more about you. Every time we feel each other.”

“Just remember– The Dream of a Green Sunday.”

“Meat has turned raw, my existence is a tragedy.”

“White-Chocolate Cheesecake is the escape, and I feel nothing for you.”

“There was love once…wasn’t there?”

“I think and there was an illusion.”


(c) A.R. Minhas 2019

Self-Image Before Birth

They beheld me and I beheld you…

We are locked in each other’s web of

Expectations.

And I’m aroused by the Moon’s piercing light

And I’m blinded by your shadow.

You have eclipsed me

And I cower before your presence.

          While my presence lingers somewhere down there

In the periphery

Hoping to communicate with you

But you are above it all

          In a Heavenly sphere

And I’m stuck here in hellish cubicles

Recording death in its future states…

And yet I have found ways.

To smother death in its Afternoon Siestas

                                                And all it would take to validate me

                                                          Validate me with your lips

                                                          A Kiss!

“Smack!”

A kiss so hard that it leaves me red all over

A kiss so hard my saliva makes iridescent rings with yours

Communicate with lips

          And I’m Rebirthed

          Or Resurfaced

                 From the flood that consumes me

And I’m gurgling                                                   This song so perchance

You hear it                         And                               Validate

                                                                                    Me  

Continuously validate me

               And validate my words

           And keep validating me

Or I will be

An after thought

                To be an after thought

                             Just like birth

                                      Death happens suddenly

And it’s continuous on and on and on

These words aren’t mine

They are borrowed

                                   In blood and all the unseen are the world’s thoughts

                                                          My blood

                                                          My DNA

Unconsciousness

 That gives substance to my words

          But you so closely resemble myself

       That I accept your inability to communicate with me

       And your betrayal 

                     Is comfortable.

© A.R. Minhas 2019

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