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Goddess Sativa
She told me, and I didn’t believe her
“Use teeth next time”
Just to hurt more.
A heart doesn’t want to be sober
Like a trail of swollen lights
Blaspheming moths
Incinerated
Masturbating to their own destruction.
You hear the ventilation buzzing
A stutter of cicadas
Stroking to their vibrations
And I cum a purple substance
Goddess Sativa floating in my throat.
The stickiness of thought,
And a centipede spirals into my ear.
It whispers–
“I have stories about the crawl space in your mind that you don’t want to talk about.”
And then I laugh.
I laugh because it doesn’t mean anything.
And I should’ve believed her.
I don’t want to be sober.
I only want to worship you.
(c) A.R. Minhas 2019
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Weird Eyes
If you had loved me hard enough
“Don’t say those words like an afterthought.”
I burn that flower at night time
The urgency of this message
I’m in love with being myself
Vaseline love,
Apply lotion to a dry heart.
See it through.
Evidence of bubblegum
Cardamom,
Say the word I’m there.
Wax spilt on black marble.
“You came with thundering applause.”
And I burst into you…
Tears
Wide Eyed, weird eyes
Drown
A gaggle of loud noises
Beautifying the porch
Cigarette bodies hidden
Beneath
Neon smoke
Up Above
My nose throbs for your loins
Teeth willing to pierce through
Skin
And then flesh
Blood caramel
Dripping from your lips.
I lay my head down
A disembodied voice
“Nostalgia keeps me alive.”
(c) A.R. Minhas 2019
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Futile
Can you understand me?
‘Milk spilt in the hall.’
Dionysus cried himself to sleep.
Roses burning with a magnifying glass.
Melted sugar.
Come to the blue party.
Serotonin for you, and the light fades.
Blind
‘The head line dips to Luna.’
My delusions are mine to keep.
Share the kiss, never fall in Love.
Some people are blessed to be alone.
(c) A.R. Minhas 2019
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Woman In Clouds
She pours the nicotine
on the head
A bed of spirals
Naked feet
strawberries between your toes.
Jam!
My heart bursts with love
It you could only smoke that tail-pipe.
Exhale a statue of smoke
her breasts are large Filled with unrepentant milk
Her thighs
shut my face between a mask of bronze.
A clay to make her quiver she recovers from the candle-light.
Bottle fly waits for me to
lie down again
The open field
I hear the
sewer grow
The sound of filth accumulating
Verdigris!
The name of my love
She swirls in copper rounds
sounds of carousel
My chest opens like teeth
red trickles on my mouth
“This sugar left
a scar!”
And you stand naked and tall
Star-light trying to reunite with you.
A. R. Minhas (c) 2019
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Fraud
I don’t deserve it.
“You look like you need it.”
A cherry flavoured kiss.
I still taste you on my beard.
A door knocks.
An ancient bird that taps.
Shadows close in on me.
The mouse-trap with red velvet cake.
You don’t deserve anything.
It snaps. It recoils.
This is how a dream breaks,
And I’m relieved.
You were never real.
It was all given to you,
And now you return to take me back.
I laugh at your audacity
“Papers, please.”
I was never here in the first place.
There is a beauty in surrendering.
© A.R. Minhas
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I’ll Eat You In My Dreams
There is a jar filled with Honey
Buried in your dreams
And I pour it
They create steps
A temple of your heart
Steep conversations
Cicadas with Kamikaze fervor
Heart thumping like pure jet-streams
Azure is the shape of my skin
You sit next to me
Can you hear them?
Ovulations of perfume
A fermented kiss in a plastic bottle
Who knew that chemical reactions can create longings?
Vegetation of Serotonin
And I’m floating from you just being next to me
“Share a Diet-Coke?” you ask with carbonated eyes.
I would share a Chocolate grasshopper with you
High on protein
Saliva dripping rainbows and you share a secret with me
There are no Mango-Trees close by
Let’s do magic by that Orange shape
Peeling it with toes
Those natural, citrusy fingertips
Delicate
To a stroking fur touch
And I promised you an apple pie
If you stay close enough
I’ll give you a view
From my chest
Like open palms
Dipping to Luna
A fountain foaming with desire
Smoking Blue Dream
Within a withering forest
In my dreams
Just stay close.
And I’ll eat you underneath a Mango-Tree.
© A.R. Minhas 2019
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The Darkness That Holds Me Together.
I’m unable to avoid the sharp corners of my mind.
Brain filled with endorphins.
“I’m reliving my childhood.”
Mango trees,
Plucked from the earth
Sweetness of lips
Honey drips down your thighs
Patterns on your nail polish swirl and I know I exist.
Your heart exhales
And I feel my stomach knot like strings
There is a weight to all of this
“Black charcoal to moisturize a face”
Our past is entangled
Tachyons enjoyed with green tea
And a past remembered with too much sugar.
If you could hold my darkness
You will be the center of everything.
(c) A.R. Minhas
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I Hear Things And I Feel Nothing.
“I have shared secrets with you…”
“Oh Dead Mother!”
“Come have your pills. Depression doesn’t look good on you.”
“It’s just a coincidence that you wore red today.”
“I’m masturbating in public!”
“…And let’s abort this thing.”
“And why do you care that our generation is the worst?”
“You didn’t taste that way before…”
“And I’m learning more about you. Every time we feel each other.”
“Just remember– The Dream of a Green Sunday.”
“Meat has turned raw, my existence is a tragedy.”
“White-Chocolate Cheesecake is the escape, and I feel nothing for you.”
“There was love once…wasn’t there?”
“I think and there was an illusion.”
(c) A.R. Minhas 2019
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Self-Image Before Birth
They beheld me and I beheld you…
We are locked in each other’s web of
Expectations.
And I’m aroused by the Moon’s piercing light
And I’m blinded by your shadow.
You have eclipsed me
And I cower before your presence.
While my presence lingers somewhere down there
In the periphery
Hoping to communicate with you
But you are above it all
In a Heavenly sphere
And I’m stuck here in hellish cubicles
Recording death in its future states…
And yet I have found ways.
To smother death in its Afternoon Siestas
And all it would take to validate me
Validate me with your lips
A Kiss!
“Smack!”
A kiss so hard that it leaves me red all over
A kiss so hard my saliva makes iridescent rings with yours
Communicate with lips
And I’m Rebirthed
Or Resurfaced
From the flood that consumes me
And I’m gurgling This song so perchance
You hear it And Validate
Me
Continuously validate me
And validate my words
And keep validating me
Or I will be
An after thought
To be an after thought
Just like birth
Death happens suddenly
And it’s continuous on and on and on
These words aren’t mine
They are borrowed
In blood and all the unseen are the world’s thoughts
My blood
My DNA
Unconsciousness
That gives substance to my words
But you so closely resemble myself
That I accept your inability to communicate with me
And your betrayal
Is comfortable.
© A.R. Minhas 2019
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