I’m in bed and I awake to the punishment of my former self making arrangements with you.
How can I avoid it? How can I avoid you?
I don’t care if you’re my best friend,
I just want to be by myself.
I hate them all, I hate that they purposefully misrepresent me.
So quick to judgment, so quick to torture.
Hell is being trapped in other people’s morality.
I see how you see me as the worst version of myself.
If you had only taken the time, maybe swam in my head.
For every impure thought you could have weighed my heart.
Maybe you could’ve seen an entity who was corroded by cynicism but who still dreams– and hopes it gets better.
But you capture the worst of me. A polaroid in time.
That’s how you will remember me.
And it’s easy–
You are eager to accept the worst interpretations.
So it makes a better headline.
Maybe it’s better if we don’t meet.
This way you can judge me while I float in my dreams.
(C) A.R. Minhas 2019