‘Maps of Eyes’ (Poetry published on Vocal)

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‘Maps of Eyes’ (c) A.R. Minhas 2019


The Love I Expected.

I never expected to be loved

There are some shortcomings

And here I am


Stuck in a glue trap

“Flesh imbued with pain.”

Heart doesn’t care anymore,

It barely pumps blood

And I hear it

Function like an abandoned beehive

Dust gets in your eyes

Flecks of honey distributed for hedonism.


I stare

Into a white tar pit

Evidence of Red Lipstick on the end of a cigarette butt

Craving for a hit

Nicotine oppression

A dream someone had dreamt before,

But the Queen pushes me away.

“These lungs aren’t going to immolate themselves.”

Ash trapped on my beard

The tower is burning

The entity free falls

No soft landing, tainted by love.

Ribcage is a prison,

And I’ve been institutionalized.

Leave my scrawl marks behind,

I don’t have any good memories to share.

(C) A.R. Minhas 2019

Self-Image Before Birth

They beheld me and I beheld you…

We are locked in each other’s web of


And I’m aroused by the Moon’s piercing light

And I’m blinded by your shadow.

You have eclipsed me

And I cower before your presence.

          While my presence lingers somewhere down there

In the periphery

Hoping to communicate with you

But you are above it all

          In a Heavenly sphere

And I’m stuck here in hellish cubicles

Recording death in its future states…

And yet I have found ways.

To smother death in its Afternoon Siestas

                                                And all it would take to validate me

                                                          Validate me with your lips

                                                          A Kiss!


A kiss so hard that it leaves me red all over

A kiss so hard my saliva makes iridescent rings with yours

Communicate with lips

          And I’m Rebirthed

          Or Resurfaced

                 From the flood that consumes me

And I’m gurgling                                                   This song so perchance

You hear it                         And                               Validate


Continuously validate me

               And validate my words

           And keep validating me

Or I will be

An after thought

                To be an after thought

                             Just like birth

                                      Death happens suddenly

And it’s continuous on and on and on

These words aren’t mine

They are borrowed

                                   In blood and all the unseen are the world’s thoughts

                                                          My blood

                                                          My DNA


 That gives substance to my words

          But you so closely resemble myself

       That I accept your inability to communicate with me

       And your betrayal 

                     Is comfortable.

© A.R. Minhas 2019

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By: A.R. Minhas


She places the tools on the table

Unsheathe the rose petals

It’s time to use them


Droplets of wine that spill from the cup

Your thought pierces me

The Divine spirit soaring like a drone

The mystical explosion will destroy you in the vicinity



A guide that taps her cigarette

Three times and howl is heard

A burn mark shaped like a pentagram

The hands that show the path

As it was above

So it will be

If you find love, kiss me hard

With the tongue involved

A spiritual virus


Recreate me



Your red robes have been thrown in the forest


Be sure your nudity is seen by everyone

And the sigil is magnified







The chaos

Is interested in you.


© A.R. Minhas 2018


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Kill me, Beloved!

I have ruined the self

It was to you I owed that debt

& it was to you that I held onto


“Kill me, Beloved!”

My self doesn’t trust you


It has been lost



In the blue overtures of night crawlers

Reminding you of their eternal blindness


The self                       finds itself a starry night to behold

& smoke dangling on its own

Freckled with                                                                spidery legs



The    Ether                             a   container   of   forgotten      scents

&         the self       can’t stare at you long enough



It grows tired

& it bends


I have ruined the self

& I can’t trust it anymore



“Kill me, Beloved!”



Maybe my Yellowed bones

Gave it away


The kiss I drew on you that night

& displayed for fortuities sake


The love that was borrowed

The love that was taken by no one

& it is no ones…


It is for Myself

& only to Myself


& it is not owed to

Nor does is it belong to


So kill me

If you’d like it back


© A.R. Minhas 2016

Arousing Bitter Unions

My hirsute heart has a slit                &

I regurgitated these words from the depths of my nausea

                                               That’s why they leave a bitter taste in your mouth


Please…     Please…  Gather these caked tears

                                                    Inside my cubic Dreams,

O! Dear goddess of my eye

So swallow or spit                     Or extend below my…


My only escape…

   From the fetus inside the blanketed cocoon

    Which Curls…                                                 Gestating with Green Idols

Grow to be trees of dissatisfaction

Pouring the White bitter sap

                                    A window to a hollow bed

An invitation for sleep deprivation and horniness

And I’m the random speck of nicotine…



From                    this                      Endless sleep

Walking                                    Throbbing




Fully                                     erect.



© A.R. Minhas 2016

To the friend who helped me realize that life is meaningless and yet synchronistic

I lied to you                 that day my friend,


I was denied her lips— sealed shut forever,

You smiled with the nicotine labyrinths       on your teeth,

When I said                     ‘I have some dreaming left to do’,

And you saw right through my amorphous stories

The alibis of opal

So I wouldn’t feel guilty

Enclosing myself in a                                           confession room,

And pushing you off that                               neon ledge

Into that drunken highway— crash!  An automobile orgy,

But I forgot,                                       in my hazy devotion

To the queen of wands,

That I had a friend

In the piles of unshuffled cards

I always had a jack up my sleeve—

You said, ‘I need your help’

I come to you now my dear narcissistic friend,

To save you from yourself!

Your personal bullet-vest

And you became a knight of cups to drink Japanese beer with,

Cheers!  For cigarette desserts after old-fashioned cheeseburgers,

And French fries smothered with gravy,

‘What was it you needed me for?’

‘I will tell you soon enough’

Caffeine, Nicotine and Alcohol in ungodly amounts,

Then you sat on the barber’s chair—

to hide your thinning hair

Hurricanes of baldness and updraft of self-conscious storms,

Led us to the quest of Rogaine

and face-lift creams,

But we bought  aqua spices and European scents instead,

To show how you had captured secret treasures,

We sought clock faces with silicon breasts

Saleswomen who couldn’t understand your slurring speech

Then I tried to catch the sight of the cashier,

The one who stole my Persian rug,

But you knew her shift wasn’t on Mondays,

We went on into the night, the moon, hidden in a Saudi veil,

I asked you ‘why you needed my help?’

And you said ‘I lied to you,’

I pressed on but the answer was the same,

I finally laughed, not because of deception,

But because I had learned everything I needed to

About the difference between beloveds’ and companions’.

I thank my liver, lung and brain friend,

Who else would be there for me?

Even if the heart never shows up…

And in the quest of saving of you, accidently, I saved myself,

Because all transit buses are filled with noisy throats,

But even worse motor skills.

Hence, it’s more convenient to ride in cabs to get to your destination faster.

And Cioran didn’t lie about the futility of a tomorrow,

And yet everything started to happen at the same time

I started to believe…