The Love I Expected.

I never expected to be loved

There are some shortcomings

And here I am

Still

Stuck in a glue trap

“Flesh imbued with pain.”

Heart doesn’t care anymore,

It barely pumps blood

And I hear it

Function like an abandoned beehive

Dust gets in your eyes

Flecks of honey distributed for hedonism.

And

I stare

Into a white tar pit

Evidence of Red Lipstick on the end of a cigarette butt

Craving for a hit

Nicotine oppression

A dream someone had dreamt before,

But the Queen pushes me away.

“These lungs aren’t going to immolate themselves.”

Ash trapped on my beard

The tower is burning

The entity free falls

No soft landing, tainted by love.

Ribcage is a prison,

And I’ve been institutionalized.

Leave my scrawl marks behind,

I don’t have any good memories to share.

(C) A.R. Minhas 2019

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Inner Peace

 

 

I have not known a single day of peace

I walk with an erect sword

Ever present to the enucleation of

that perfect random stranger

 

I know now what you expect me to say

And I won’t bother hiding

I’ll tell you what’s on my mind

 

Life has me unrequited

“I’m perpetually unloved”

 

But I’ll share that transparent umbrella with you

Even if I’m soaked. I’ll offer you shelter.

 

Kindness unsignified.

Beauty, my beauty hidden in deep perfectly arched shadows

It wouldn’t matter how good you are

And I’m still shivering

Go ahead… feel it

The pangs of birth and that yellow amorphous shape

 

With perfect calmness

I studied your feminine form

My pen can’t keep its stillness

 

Dynamic, like the heart which moves backward in time

Tachyons of physically impossible velocities

 

I have traveled on your bony curves,

Wearily, your thighs offer sleep

And my hands always find their way on your breasts

I have lost the desire to love you, but I imagine a flame somewhere

Burning deep within these ravenous black eyes

 

The new skin grows

Numb and harder to pierce

 

Life is like unrequited love,

You can’t deny it and it never gives you anything back

Perhaps ordinary gestures are better than grand ones

 

Maybe that kiss went too far,

And ended mid-sentence

 

I’ll cherish your strawberry flavored chapstick

leaving behind your scent in my mouth

These endorphins were created by you

And they know you

Well versed by you

Spheres of weird music

Centered around that effigy

Of paraphiliac fingerprints

I know of this place

Where I’m uneasy

 

I’m not troubled. I’m not at peace.

The stillness is off putting

like waiting for things to go wrong.

 

 

 

© A.R. Minhas 2016