“Self-Image Before Birth” – Click to Shop and support my art.

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Weird Eyes

If you had loved me hard enough

“Don’t say those words like an afterthought.”

I burn that flower at night time

The urgency of this message

I’m in love with being myself

Vaseline love,

Apply lotion to a dry heart.

See it through.

Evidence of bubblegum

Cardamom,

Say the word I’m there.

Wax spilt on black marble.

“You came with thundering applause.”

And I burst into you…

Tears

Wide Eyed, weird eyes

Drown

A gaggle of loud noises

Beautifying the porch

Cigarette bodies hidden

Beneath

Neon smoke

Up Above

My nose throbs for your loins

Teeth willing to pierce through

Skin

And then flesh

Blood caramel

Dripping from your lips.

I lay my head down

A disembodied voice

“Nostalgia keeps me alive.”

(c) A.R. Minhas 2019

Fraud

I don’t deserve it.

“You look like you need it.”

          A cherry flavoured kiss.

I still taste you on my beard.

A door knocks.

         An ancient bird that taps.

Shadows close in on me.

          The mouse-trap with red velvet cake.

You don’t deserve anything.

          It snaps. It recoils.

This is how a dream breaks,

And I’m relieved.

You were never real.

          It was all given to you,

          And now you return to take me back.

I laugh at your audacity

“Papers, please.”

I was never here in the first place.

There is a beauty in surrendering.

© A.R. Minhas

I’ll Eat You In My Dreams

There is a jar filled with Honey

Buried in your dreams

And I pour it

            They create steps

                        A temple of your heart

Steep conversations            

                        Cicadas with Kamikaze fervor

 Heart thumping like pure jet-streams

            Azure is the shape of my skin

                        You sit next to me

            Can you hear them?

Ovulations of perfume

            A fermented kiss in a plastic bottle

Who knew that chemical reactions can create longings?

                        Vegetation of Serotonin

            And I’m floating from you just being next to me

“Share a Diet-Coke?” you ask with carbonated eyes.

I would share a Chocolate grasshopper with you

            High on protein

                         Saliva dripping rainbows and you share a secret with me

There are no Mango-Trees close by

Let’s do magic by that Orange shape

            Peeling it with toes

                        Those natural, citrusy fingertips

Delicate

To a stroking fur touch

                                    And I promised you an apple pie

If you stay close enough

I’ll give you a view

                From my chest

                                    Like open palms

                                    Dipping to Luna

                        A fountain foaming with desire

Smoking Blue Dream

            Within a withering forest

                        In my dreams

                        Just stay close.

And I’ll eat you underneath a Mango-Tree.

© A.R. Minhas 2019

Self-Image Before Birth

They beheld me and I beheld you…

We are locked in each other’s web of

Expectations.

And I’m aroused by the Moon’s piercing light

And I’m blinded by your shadow.

You have eclipsed me

And I cower before your presence.

          While my presence lingers somewhere down there

In the periphery

Hoping to communicate with you

But you are above it all

          In a Heavenly sphere

And I’m stuck here in hellish cubicles

Recording death in its future states…

And yet I have found ways.

To smother death in its Afternoon Siestas

                                                And all it would take to validate me

                                                          Validate me with your lips

                                                          A Kiss!

“Smack!”

A kiss so hard that it leaves me red all over

A kiss so hard my saliva makes iridescent rings with yours

Communicate with lips

          And I’m Rebirthed

          Or Resurfaced

                 From the flood that consumes me

And I’m gurgling                                                   This song so perchance

You hear it                         And                               Validate

                                                                                    Me  

Continuously validate me

               And validate my words

           And keep validating me

Or I will be

An after thought

                To be an after thought

                             Just like birth

                                      Death happens suddenly

And it’s continuous on and on and on

These words aren’t mine

They are borrowed

                                   In blood and all the unseen are the world’s thoughts

                                                          My blood

                                                          My DNA

Unconsciousness

 That gives substance to my words

          But you so closely resemble myself

       That I accept your inability to communicate with me

       And your betrayal 

                     Is comfortable.

© A.R. Minhas 2019

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Blackholes

I’m sailing a ship in space,

Because I want to be left alone.

Everyone told me I will drown in the moon.

 

And I’m ok with that.

 

As long as I can have my smoke on that secret porch,

As long as I can feel the sweet comfort of a dark chocolate cake that was left over,

I sometimes imagine your blood is its icing.

I’m colonizing the stars,

Repopulating them with your memories.

At the bottom of the ocean

Pressure conforms—cracking skulls

The sound of opening a can of coke

“Come share with me,”

I’m spilling purple flowers everywhere

Can you imagine a gesture of love drifting alone in space?

 

So peaceful.

At the bottom of the ocean.

Living in Atlantis.

Imaginary like heaven,

All the pain disappears.

Like a memory of that light that was there once,

Like a memory of oxygen…

Everything fades to zero-calories of nothingness.

 

My lungs grow heavy with sulfates

Why don’t you just die here?

“This is a good spot,”

The black hole is right above my head.

 

© A.R. Minhas 2018

To A Princess

You have become an event in my life that I can’t escape from

And all the paths lead to you are like droplets in my eye

My skin

My throat

And you have become a breath in my life that I can’t exhale from

So I celebrate you

Douse you with wine

Crown you with Paper Laurels

The Baptism has begun my Pieceofthemoon

And I will lie waiting in your embrace

My sweet

Omniscient

Princess

 

 

© A.R. Minhas 2018

Year of Regret

Raw silk, pure power

I feel the anger of drunk drivers passing by

 

She undresses in that winter moon

I lay naked next to you, and I feel you in heat

“Taste it, spit the seeds”

 

I’m a meat eater, but I’ll promise to drink more cranberry juice

And I promise

I won’t fall in love again

You saw what happened last time?

 

Coughed up a lung in love

Footed the bill

And my thoughts have become more bureaucratic

I know exactly what forms to fill out

 

Replacement heart on the way

Plus shipping and handling

 

 

I promise I don’t need anyone

You can ask my dreams

You can ask my bank account

And my investments are doing well too

 

Painting pictures of zero balances on my credit card

Could you imagine?

If you never made mistakes

 

Protein shake diets

I’m taking care of myself

And I don’t need anyone

 

Even if your touch leads to those special endorphins

It’s ok

 

There’s a new year coming up

And I’m sorry for repeating

But there won’t be any regrets anymore.

 

© A.R. Minhas 2017

Our Bodies Betray Us

I’m drinking again

And all I can think of, is her.

It’s cold outside

And the warm melted cheese of my quesadilla

Embraces the foamy amber.

I keep talking about the time I fell in love

And even though I know my friend is tired of me talking about her

Fuck him

I don’t care

I get poetical when I’m drunk,

And I dream of my waitress giving me blowjobs

In that perfect way, she used to

The way she would roll her tongue and sometimes use the sharpness of her teeth…

Nothing like the threat of castration

To get harder

She pulled me closer, and I told her my chemicals were for her.

Only her.

And her skin was meant for me to puncture

And draw monuments to

The way I used the red pen

No one else will know

I remember the swelling of breasts,

Swelling in my mouth.

My mother told me that she never breastfed me,

Maybe that’s why I’m so needy,

So insecure

I excuse myself for a cigarette outside.

I want to be alone.

And if there’s a god, he’s given me the gift of wanting-to-be-alone.

And I exhale smoke in triangular propulsion

Each howl of wind wakes me from sleepiness

And my thoughts race

To the pinkness of her thighs,

Softness of her hair,

Even the slight coarseness of her armpits.

I’m still thinking about her.

The perfect form.

And I’m thinking about her betrayal,

And I’m thinking about forgiving her,

Because

Eventually

Our Bodies betray us

But she will always be perfect in my mind.

© A.R. Minhas 2017