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“High Priestess” buy here:

It’s not enough
What I can offer you was never enough.
The heart pulsates like a star about to collapse on itself
Antibodies against love.
I’ve realized that my guilt has built a city,
Everything flows through it and all I can understand of the world
Is how I’m different from it.
How the very thought of being loved is alien to me.
I’m not sure how my hand feels.
Nothing to grasp unto.
You are the thought above that insurmountable peak.
Golden light shimmers above
Curved water spilling down into a black river.
I should stop dreaming.
I should abandon all hope.
That is for other people.
(C) A.R. Minhas 2020
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